Tumor on the cervix

Today I went to the Provincial General Hospital (Skaraborgs Sjukhus) for a thorough check up using the ultra sound machine. The doctor said something is there that causes my bleeding. They took some test to be sent to the laboratory and took some blood test etc, a nurse took care of me. It took sometime before I finish with the check up.
After a while the doctor talked to me and said “you have a malignant tumor in your cervix about 4 cm big, it doesn’t look good so you have to prepare yourself for the worst.” I was shocked and just cried, I was not expecting this. I didn’t miss any Pap test where I was called every 3rd year. A Pap test is a test of a sample of cells taken from a woman’s cervix and vagina. The test is used to look for changes in the cells of the cervix and vagina that show cancer or conditions that may develop into cancer. If I remember it right I was on this test last 2012. I should have taken this test again in the beginning of March 2015 but it was then I started bleeding and they could not take a test so we had to rebook the test after 2 weeks but then I was still bleeding, rebook again after a week, still bleeding and then I had to go to that planned 5 weeks holiday in the Philippines. We booked again for a Pap test in the beginning of May after coming home from the Philippines, but I was still bleeding so I had to cancel it. My midwife which has been my midwife since I had my first child 27 years ago said, the abnormal bleeding could be due to my age, menopausal stage, I believed that so i didn’t really take this bleeding seriously.
On the early morning of May 15, around 2 am I woke up with a feeling of premenstrual pain and all of a sudden blood was running out from me. Read more here.

I got this prescription to stop the bleeding, I have to take 2 tablets 3X/day.

After this very devastating news I stayed outside the genecological ward for sometime, I was shock and didn’t know what to do. I was so scared! Shall I go home and cry? Is this the end of my life? IS IT GAME OVER FOR ME? I called up my sister who is working as a nurse at the hospital and confided to her.  She was going to meet me on her lunch break. I called up my good friend just to open up and talk about it. I was so confuse. 

My sister came and comforted me, it was such a nice feeling to have somebody so close to me at this moment. It felt so warm and comfortable. Unfortunately she and another sister are going for a travel to the Philippines tomorrow so it won’t be so much comfort from them. Hopefully we could talk through internet. For the mean time I had to drive home.

When coming home I went directly to bed and rest, it felt like it was a long day. I was crying when my husband came home and asked me what was wrong. I told him the story and he was so understanding and promised to stand by my side through this crisis.

Published by queenkeandra

I am a swedish citizen with asian origin, lives in Sweden, entrepreneur, accountant, fashion designer, dressmaker, professional interpreter and translator and from year 2014, I also became a local politician with some assignments from the local government. I moved to Sweden after marriage with a Swedish national in 1986. Two years later we got a son followed by a daughter after 21 months. Satisfied with life in fact, I guess I got all I wished for, it feels I have everything. Being married is not just a bed of roses, the roses have thorns also and you can get it at times but we’ve always been doing pretty good. Kinder and better husband I do not think I can get, everyone has their flaws and life becomes easier if you can accept them. I’m not a perfect person either. I became a grandmother quite young, only 45 years old, was a little skeptical at first but then I loved to be one. Now I am already a grandmother of two, a boy and a girl of 20 months between them, such a great feeling, it feels like it was a replay of my life. When I have both of them at home, it feels like I was young again and is the mother of small children. I can not explain but so damn good it is. When I moved to Sweden I knew nothing about the country, but now it feels like I’ve always lived here. I speak Swedish better than my native language, better in Swedish grammar than my husband, it may sound strange but it’s true. I dream even in Swedish. I hang out with many Swedes, have worked and still working in Swedish companies. I go to the Swedish church though I am a Roman Catholic. We believe in the same God anyway. I’ve adapted pretty well in Swedish society. I think I have to adjust to that country I moved to, not the country or its citizens to adapt to me. Sweden has no responsibility whatsoever that I wanted to move here so I could not demand anything else, but now a citizen, I think I have the right as any other native Swedes. I pay taxes and do my duties as a citizen. I think I am a good role model and a loyal citizen and can fight for my new country.

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