A call from my doctor

My doctor called and told me about the conference last Friday. As I had already said they would take up my case at the conference. Now they had finally agreed that the tumor sitting in my back is not malignant after all, but if I want to be removed, they can do it but it is not risk free because there’s a lot of nerves sitting there. It will be a major operation and needed a very skillful surgeon. Somehow I was delighted of just the thought of not being a malignant tumör, but then another fear I have now is if it will grow and then later on need to get rid of it when I’m old and can’t manage to have a major operation? What will happen then? Shall I just die? Oh my Lord! I don’t want to die yet.

Published by queenkeandra

I am a swedish citizen with asian origin, lives in Sweden, entrepreneur, accountant, fashion designer, dressmaker, professional interpreter and translator and from year 2014, I also became a local politician with some assignments from the local government. I moved to Sweden after marriage with a Swedish national in 1986. Two years later we got a son followed by a daughter after 21 months. Satisfied with life in fact, I guess I got all I wished for, it feels I have everything. Being married is not just a bed of roses, the roses have thorns also and you can get it at times but we’ve always been doing pretty good. Kinder and better husband I do not think I can get, everyone has their flaws and life becomes easier if you can accept them. I’m not a perfect person either. I became a grandmother quite young, only 45 years old, was a little skeptical at first but then I loved to be one. Now I am already a grandmother of two, a boy and a girl of 20 months between them, such a great feeling, it feels like it was a replay of my life. When I have both of them at home, it feels like I was young again and is the mother of small children. I can not explain but so damn good it is. When I moved to Sweden I knew nothing about the country, but now it feels like I’ve always lived here. I speak Swedish better than my native language, better in Swedish grammar than my husband, it may sound strange but it’s true. I dream even in Swedish. I hang out with many Swedes, have worked and still working in Swedish companies. I go to the Swedish church though I am a Roman Catholic. We believe in the same God anyway. I’ve adapted pretty well in Swedish society. I think I have to adjust to that country I moved to, not the country or its citizens to adapt to me. Sweden has no responsibility whatsoever that I wanted to move here so I could not demand anything else, but now a citizen, I think I have the right as any other native Swedes. I pay taxes and do my duties as a citizen. I think I am a good role model and a loyal citizen and can fight for my new country.

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